If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
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Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
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I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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