i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
