i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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