I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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