It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
