I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
