I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Congratulations! We have a period
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