Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
