See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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