I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
