Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
