I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
