I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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