Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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