is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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