Dual....:-)
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize