I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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