I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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