had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
