Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
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it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
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When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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