what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
