why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
