hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
