Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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