You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
