saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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