i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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