Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
