I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There r osticjed everywhere
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
