are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
