i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
