In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
