The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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