All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you would pick up someone in the library
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
