I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
