This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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