she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
