She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
