And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
