I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
