I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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