Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
