he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
