okay pat passed out under dana's car
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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