like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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