i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize