butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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