I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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