Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize