I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
