You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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