I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
