We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
