Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
